People say that getting old sucks, but I don’t agree.  There once was a time when I wished my days away. I would wish this week would go by so I could enjoy the weekend, or I would wish the day away so that I could be done with work. All this amounts to, is missing the moment. All these moments go by and one cannot recall the journey, which is what life is all about, in my opinion. I get all caught up in my own little life and problems sometimes that I don’t take time to look around.

Losing people in my life gives me a wake-up call by opening my eyes to the fact that I missed so many moments with them while wishing my life away.  I’m getting to the point now that I am so thrilled to be in touch with family and friends.  Technology can be an awesome thing!

Another thing that I am enlightened to, as I get older, is that the more of my friends and family pass on, the easier it will be for me when it’s my turn.  I see it as a vacuum.  The more of these people that step out of this world and in to the next creates a suction that pulls me in that direction. When it is my turn, I will be thrilled to be with my family and friends.  I am happy believing that our spirits exist in another form after we give up our bodies on this earth.  That gives me hope that I will someday be with all those I love.

I embrace this as God’s way of using Mother Nature to show us all how we truly do have a life over death.  We only need to open our eyes and observe the smallest miracles that happen every day.

Soon our family will behold the miracle of the birth of a newborn child (the newest tribal member), giving way to emotion which is similarly and truly as indescribable.

Blessed Be!

On the road. In the grocery store. We are invaded by the retired population looking to get away from their cold homes in the north searching for warmth and sunshine (can’t say that I blame them. I myself only 6 years away from being considered a senior citizen). I personally can’t wait for the discounts and being able to live in the adult communities only offered to 55 plus. I always thought that was reverse age discrimination. But somehow I know that I will look forward to the peace without children in my flower beds, school buses making noise, fighting and screaming children, etc. The thought of it gives me shivers. Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandchildren and wouldn’t trade them for the world, but I am now reaping the rewards of having reared my own children and know that I can enjoy that peace and solitude (unless you have one of those husbands who just can’t seem to confirm to your way of thinking). I think Tim and I have that. I believe we will live a long and happy life together and hopefully grow to become one.

Got a little side-tracked there. Back to the percent of population being the elderly during the winter months. Now this time of the year is really considered the in-season for Florida because those old folks are flocking in and spending money that they worked a number of years for, I’m sure. But a person really has to watch out more carefully as population explosion occurs.

And why, you ask? As we get older, our reflexes slow, we have trouble seeing and hearing, not to mention probably lack of patience and who knows what else. That is why I believe that the winter time in Florida is a lot more hazardous during these months. You much use extreme caution when walking or bike riding, or other activities that bring you anywhere near their travel areas.

Also, make sure you get your grocery shopping done late in the evening (in Publix especially) when it’s nighty-night for many old folks – plus they can’t see in the dark . Because the older folks have taken over and think they own the store, they will take there time and debate issues in the isles with their husbands (over who knows what), as well as people they meet or know. When you come up and hint that you would like them to move so you can continue your own shopping, they just stand there and give you dirty looks until you take another path. It could take you for ever just to get out of the store with your list of 2 items.

However, I do remind myself also (from the opposite perspective) that I will be one of those people one day. Unlike many though, I will remember to use my manners an any case. I can’t say that I won’t be a grouchy old lady, because I can already see that my tolerance level for incompetency or rudeness is increasing by age. Also, my eyes are getting worse and reflexes are slowing as well. Now I’m sure that I can prolong my youth-fullness in many ways (mainly getting daily exercise), but the days just go by and before you know it here I am. I, myself, one of those old folks that the younger generation complains about, much like I am doing here.

Written by Debra Cheselka

Copyright 10/1/2007

These words were inspired as I was laying one morning in my bed in Clanton, Alabama. Every morning I would wake up to the sound of the cock-crow just before dawn then you could always count on the freight train being on schedule.  Somewhere around 1997.

The clock goes off, it’s early morn.

The cock is crowing, it’s almost dawn.

The train goes by, just blowing his horn.

Another day goes by.

Another day goes by, Another day goes by.

As I blink my eyes then another day goes by.

Before you know it, the kids are grown.

They’ve started their lives and moved away from home.

Leaving me here wondering where the time has gone.

Another day goes by.

As I blink my eyes then another day goes by.

I look back now and wondering where it’s gone.

Life has passed with every breaking dawn

As I sit here now and reminisce alone

With the blink of an eye, starts another dawn.

Then another day goes by.

When I meet my maker, he asked me this,

Take a look back now and take a count for this,

All I can say is that I blinked my eyes, and another day went by.

Another day went by,

Another day went by,

I blinked my eyes and another day went by.

Me, Myself, and I

Sitting here late at night

By the light of the shower door

Comfortable on the floor

Everyone is asleep

I truly enjoy the peace

Sitting here all alone

No chatting, no traffic, no phone

It’s the perfect time of night

The solitude is just right.

Out with the old and in with the new (so the saying goes).  I know it’s only symbolic, but I like to take it and make it real!

This analogy basically tells us that we are all attached to things, which is sad, but true.  And when things change, we experience an upset of varying degrees based on each of us as an individual.  Instead of helping to change that pattern of behavior, the cheese theory enables it by encouraging us to let go of what has changed, but attach to something else (basically filling the void instead of being comfortable with freedom).  Do we really know what it’s like to be free?  Really free!

We all know that life is about changes.  How we react to change has a direct correlation with the amount of stress we inflict upon ourselves as a result of it.  We either flow with change (sniff out the new cheese) or resist change (hold on to the old stinky cheese).  My new theory on all that crap is to “Just Say NO” to cheese. 

Let’s think about that for a moment.  Saying no to cheese simply allows you to be free!  Start by letting go of that old stinky cheese and stay away from the new cheese that will eventually start stinking as well. 

I am in the process of moving.  I love my old apartment and have had some time to settle in there. I was really starting to get comfortable and feel at home.  Needless to say, my world has been shaken a bit just when I least expected it.  The fact that I used the word “love” about an apartment is the first indication that I’ve formed an attachment, and if I’m attached, then I’m certainly not free.  I’m hanging on to old stinky cheese! 

I know it’s easier said than done, but say “no” to that cheese!  Enjoy the moments as they pass because as soon as they’re here, they’re gone again and a new one starts.  And just when you think you’re comfortable, be prepared for the earthquake!  Expect new things everyday and try to embrace them (good or bad) and then let them go.  Enjoy that beautiful sunset and move on to the sunrise of the new day.

When it comes down to it, what do we really need to hold on to?  I personally want to be free!  I will strive to make my only attachment to be with GOD.  He is never going to change and I don’t believe that he will go bad and start stinking either!

Funny how that happens. The more we pay attention, the more we become aware of its presence. I, for one, continue to be amazed by this phenomenon.

Example….

I have recently been compelled, by some cosmic force, to somehow aid in the struggle to help the homeless in America.  It’s as though my feelings and emotions have connected with the issue in a way that I have become extremely aware and sensitive to this need.  I sometimes get frustrated because I want to help, but I don’t know what to do or where to start.  My passion is sometimes so strong that I have to remind myself to take baby steps and grab the small fruit within my reach.  In doing that, I learn to walk and feed myself (just a little analogy there).  I’ve prayed and asked God to provide guidance in that area, seeing that I’m pretty sure that he’s the cosmic force that is driving me that way in the first place.  But everything in good time.  So I wait and listen! Rome certainly was not built in a day!

I’m at KMart one day when I pass this gentleman in the store who looks at me with sincere interest and says hello as I walk by.  Now this does happen occasionally, but not with that much intent.  As I make my way to the automotive isle, blindly looking for something to charge my air conditioner with, he comes up behind me and asks if he can help me.  At first I thought he worked there because of the color of his shirt, but when looking closer, I noticed that he had no name tag or store flare of any kind. We began to chat, and as the conversation progressed, I learned that he was retired and spent much of his time volunteering at a local mission.  Now keep in mind that he approached me and asked how he could help!  I told him of my compelling need to reach out, and how I could perhaps use the skills I have to do some teaching there, or anything else where there may be a need.  He explained that they were actually looking for someone to teach a computer class. This is just what I had in mind!  I wrote down the name and number of the mission, as well as a contact person there that could get me started.  So, this has been the first sign of moving forward.  I’m very  excited at this point and bursting with enthusiasm!

Since then, as you may have read in an earlier blog, I had the opportunity to help a woman that was perhaps homeless, but definitely down on her luck.  If it weren’t for my growing sensitivity to the homeless situation, I may have simply passed her by in the alley without a second thought.  I’m very thankful to feel that there may be a greater purpose to my life.

After a little time goes by I get an unexpected call from my brother saying that he was in town.  What a shocker!  I asked him why he was here and he simply said that he came to visit me, what else!  A little notice would have been nice! It turned out that a tree fell on his home during the recent hurricane and his girlfriend wrecked his car in the flood.  They (my brother and his girlfriend) hitched approximately 1000 miles to get here.  No money, not job in sight, no additional clothes, no food, and no place to stay.  Homeless!!

So, here I am doing the best I can to help get them started, while giving them a comfortable place to stay and plenty to eat.  At first I was getting a little frustrated, but I am trying my best to empathize.  This is definitely one of those growth opportunities.  I can’t help but think (know) that this is God’s way of preparing me for tasks ahead.  One can say that they want to help, but I think to truly do that, one has to have a true sense of being in someone elses shoes in that situation.  I feel that my brother’s situation is just one way that God is nurturing my growth.  Somewhat like babies are fed milk from their mother and then they learn to eat solid food.

Moving forward with this example, I’m challenged at this point, and wondering what to do next.  So…. I pray!  It suddenly dawns on me that I have been prepared for this occasion.  Not only have I been provided an open door to help, but also the resources to help with!  It’s amazing!

Tomorrow I plan on taking my house guests on a trip with me to the mission.  I’m confident that this is the  direction in which we are being led.  Sort of like following the yellow brick road.

To sum it all up, God called me to a purpose, opened the door to fulfill it, and is providing resources to get the work done.

Wow!  How is that for synchronicity!!

As I drove past her she just looked down and slightly away.  At that moment she reminded me of my mother. I know that my mother was doing the same thing just only a few years ago. I’m thankful that I was able to be a part of her having a better life today.

My heart immediately went out to her as she had that sad and almost embarrassed look.  At that moment it was as if I could feel what she was feeling.  I was brought to tears with the mix of emotions between her feelings and my own.  I was thinking about what I had just purchased at the store and thinking how fortunate I am and how much I (like  so many of us) take for granted everyday.  Any one of us could be there where she is now, at a moments notice.

I began thinking about how much I’ve been concerned about not having a job and how I will pay bills if it goes on much longer, when I should have been praising God and jumping for joy that I have a roof over my head today, and having enough faith that I don’t worry about tomorrow.  Not to mention, I have an income, I have plenty to eat, I can take a shower, I have all the conveniences of electricity, television, etc.  I can go on and on.  Additionally, if I were to get so far down that I was homeless and destitute, I have a good family support system.  There are so many people, possibly like her, that have not only lost everything, but have no family or anyone to help.  Or for that matter, just don’t have the ability to take care of themselves at all.

I could only take a moment to pray for that lady and for so many others that may be in that same situation.  And thank God for all that I have and ask forgiveness for all that I have taken for granted and for my lack of awareness or empathy for those that struggle that way.

As I thought about all those folks on the street, struggling to survive, I was reminded that Jesus gave up all his possessions and took to the streets to be with people very much like that.  He did not worry about what he was going to eat, what he was going to wear, or basically anything.  He had a trust in God that his needs would be met, and they were.  If only all of us could or would have that much faith! It is no different now than then, except that we don’t have Jesus walking the streets with us to remind us that we only need have faith and believe.

I don’t know, and none of us will ever really know, why so many people have to suffer, like this as well as in many other ways.  I can only trust in God’s ultimate plan, try to live according to his guidance, and help where I can.

I hope we all try and remember that this moment is all we have, and that we are here to help each other.  Let’s not pass up on those opportunities that are provided to us by God. We can’t save the world, but I think we can make a difference by doing the small things we can do.

As far as the lady in the alley, I took her some clean clothes to wear and I gave her the few dollars in cash that I had on hand.  As I gave her the clothes, she mentioned that she was grateful because she didn’t have anything clean to wear. She didn’t want to take the money, but I insisted. I still didn’t feel like it was enough.  If I get another opportunity to see her, I think I’ll offer her a shower and a meal.